I visited Dad in the afternoon of October 29th after we returned from visiting the Griffins in Tennessee. I had decided that maybe it would just be best to stop in to visit and, if he was asleep, just to sit by him for awhile. So, when I arrived and he was sleeping, I just pulled a chair up and sat by his bedside and read my book. After about 20 minutes, he opened his eyes and saw me. I greeted him and he greeted me. I talked with him a little bit and told him about our trip to TN. He responded some and smiled when I told him about our hike in the rain. I then told him that I probably should be on my so I could fix Ken's supper. I said, "I love you, Daddy." He replied, "I love you, Honey." Looking back, those were his last words to me and I treasure that.
On Monday I got a call from the nurse at Outlook. She said Daddy's sugars were high and she had called Dr. Chu. He wanted him checked again before lunch. In the afternoon she called again and said that the blood sugar was still high and Daddy hadn't even eaten. She called the Dr. again and he said that they should check him 4-5 times a day to see what was happening and to give him more insulin. Rick, the Hospice nurse, called around supper time and told me what they were doing there and asked if I really wanted them to be that aggressive in treating him. I told him I really didn't want them sticking him more than they had to. I just didn't want his blood sugar to cause him to be aggressive. So, he advised us to just watch him and see what was going on. He also said Daddy hadn't eaten all day.
Tuesday I was at Blendon Woods with Seth, Elizabeth, and Bekah and missed this phone call. When I turned my phone's volume back up, I had several messages, beginning with this one left at 10:58 a.m. on November 2nd.
"Hi, Patti. It's Rick. I just wanted to give you a little update on Dad. I'm here with him now. He is not really trying to talk too much. He will respond when I move him or touch him. He moans a little bit and hollered out. And every once in awhile his legs will twitch of move. His heart rate is elevated up to 130. His respiration is a little shallow. He certainly might be going away. I don't know if he's going to come out of this one. He seems to be maybe on his way to see Mom. So, if you want to, give us a call at the facility. I just wanted to give you the update on how he's doing but it seems like he's certainly declining."
I think I knew then that this was the call that I'd had been anticipating receiving one day. Bekah and I were at Subway with the kids and decided to go ahead and eat and then go over to Outlook. Bekah took both kids (Melody and Jason were in CA) and I got a book, my laptop, and headed over to Outlook. Bekah had called Mark and he was there when I got there. Dad was definitely not responsive. We talked a bit and then it seemed like I wasn't going to get any time alone with him. Bruce, the chaplain, came in. Gretchen, the social worker, came in. I think a nurse probably came in as well. Then when they all left, Mark asked if I just wanted some time alone with him. I did and he left.
I had actually decided the night before that I was going to spend some time talking to Daddy on Tuesday and tell him how much I appreciated him being a good father to me. So, I just sat there and poured my heart out to him. I told him how much I loved him and thanked him for taking me to church and camp. I told him I knew that I would see him in Heaven someday because I was sure of my salvation.
I had called Pam as soon as I saw that he really was declining. She called back about 5 minutes later and said she was on her way to the airport and would figure out how to get a flight out that day.
I spent the rest of the day sitting with Daddy. The ordered oxygen for him. It was delivered, but didn't hook it up. They gave me a book about death. The kitchen staff brought a tray of muffins, juice, etc. They all left me alone with Daddy and, at one point, I wondered if anyone was going to come check on him. He wasn't eating and they said that was normal. His breathing was shallow and his heart rate was elevated.
I left around 6:00 and went to church to set up for Hearts and Hands. (Only 6 showed up that night. Betty took charge and they spent most of the evening praying.) I went home and got something to eat. I stopped to vote. Then I went back to sit with Daddy for awhile. Ken took charge of the kids. We had Andrew and Elizabeth on Sunday night through Wednesday night. Then we were swapping with Mark and Bekah for Joshua and Seth. Ken fed the kids and put them to bed that night.
I came home about 8:30 and we played Wii while waiting to hear from Pam. Her flight was delayed and she got him about 12:30 a.m. I took her to Outlook and went to see Dad. She decided to stay the night with him so I went home to sleep. It really did look like this was the end of his life but they told us he could linger for awhile. Not much changed all day - nor through the night.
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